I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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