Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
