the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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