i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize