I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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