doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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