You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
