Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
