At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
