Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
