He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
