DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize