I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
where are you?
Hypothermia
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
