You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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