her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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