Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive

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  (814): I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive http://tfl.nu/iqgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1994) Bad night (546)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.

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  (770): Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces. http://tfl.nu/5t2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3602) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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  (302): is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/hrqs
  Replies (4) Good night (1420) Bad night (3806)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday

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  (850): Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday http://tfl.nu/xmv6
  Replies (36) Good night (5951) Bad night (643)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.

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  (561): Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade. http://tfl.nu/fybc
  Replies (77) Good night (678) Bad night (7376)
• Favorite

  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (3059) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.

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  (908): I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/fc4o
  Replies (9) Good night (5295) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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  (818): The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/zk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (1986) Bad night (3584)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!

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  (501): Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?! http://tfl.nu/d2jg
  Replies (5) Good night (857) Bad night (2351)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?

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  (207): Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!? http://tfl.nu/bzp6
  Replies (10) Good night (1835) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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  (416): He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut. http://tfl.nu/vwy6
  Replies (8) Good night (5086) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...

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  (613): Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches... http://tfl.nu/4xud
  Replies (9) Good night (941) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.

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  (816): Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard. http://tfl.nu/x9vd
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man

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  (864): Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man http://tfl.nu/sja1
  Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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  (310): Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent. http://tfl.nu/z8ey
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (202)

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