Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

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  (405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz
  Replies (30) Good night (875) Bad night (3308)
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  (516): View more from New York

  she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen

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  (516): she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen http://tfl.nu/pvgu
  Replies (34) Good night (1445) Bad night (8751)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.

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  (612): My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment. http://tfl.nu/bb74
  Replies (8) Good night (4502) Bad night (1412)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.

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  (515): Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/28bg
  Replies (18) Good night (6667) Bad night (954)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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  (914): The ice cream man just told me to use protection. http://tfl.nu/w7kz
  Replies (6) Good night (2529) Bad night (742)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it

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  (404): Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it http://tfl.nu/ez1e
  Replies (41) Good night (1684) Bad night (2039)
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  (805): View more from California

  i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party

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  (805): i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party http://tfl.nu/d8gr
  Replies (4) Good night (1943) Bad night (515)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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  (561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn
  Replies (10) Good night (898) Bad night (1253)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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  (410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55
  Replies (5) Good night (533) Bad night (1840)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.

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  (307): MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting. http://tfl.nu/3tf3
  Replies (4) Good night (391) Bad night (1005)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  What am I doing with my life

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.

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  (724): What am I doing with my life (1-724): Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently. http://tfl.nu/ll9w
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (442)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl

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  (317): There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl http://tfl.nu/t02v
  Replies (3) Good night (728) Bad night (457)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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  (540): I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying... http://tfl.nu/wais
  Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (586)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!

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  (540): GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES! http://tfl.nu/r84w
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (260)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?

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  (248): I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex? http://tfl.nu/7avt
  Replies (1) Good night (760) Bad night (246)

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