I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.