Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dating After Heartbreak
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."