they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
