I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
