His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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