Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
