apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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