but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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