Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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