OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
where are my pants?
in the oven.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Text me some of your sweat
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
