suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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