i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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