Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm really into asian looking animals
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
