PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Buhtt sex?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
