Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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