I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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