Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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