Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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