Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize