despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
