He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
