"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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