Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
