I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
