the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
