i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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