And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
