remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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