I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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