I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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