It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
