How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize