Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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