So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
