I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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