he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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