My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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