How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
