mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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