It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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