why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
